Cat Burglary & The New Zealand Strategy – World News With Cats – Ep. 5

Welcome to World News with Cats. I’m Tim.
Bugger it!
I’ve grabbed the wrong tablets!
Come on, Tim! Put me on the bloody desk, mate!
I need the enlargement pills.
Go get me your Viagra.
I don’t use Viagra.
Consider all the places I could crawl at this size, Tim.
I could make life very uncomfortable for you.
I’ll be right back, Shelter!
The police are reporting that a cat burglar
has been spotted close to the area.
Residents are being warned not to go outs—
What the?
Did you take my…?
Hey, where’s my…?
In New Zealand, a rare bird known as a Gannet
has died after spending three years alone on an island
with concrete birds placed there to keep him company,
one of whom, he took as a mate.
Scientists believe he died of a broken hard on.
Scientists had in fact placed the concrete birds on the island
to attract a real population of Gannets.
The Gold Coast Council has been trialing the same strategy
to bring in more New Zealanders.
The Navy has intercepted heroin with a street value
of one hundred and twenty-three million dollars.
Navy officials are hopeful it will fetch double that on Silk Road.
And now a word from our sponsor.
Human Product Intro
Today’s human product is the Baked Bean.
You know, sometimes you get challenged to a race
by a field mouse?
And the field mouse is all like…
I bet I could beat you in a race, you little $#!%
So what you do is get your baked beans…
and you destroy that little rat!
Finally tonight, we bring you our top story.
Damn it!

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