I don’t think it’s selfish to not have children.
Why would that be selfish?
I guess the implication is that, it means
I only think of myself
and I’m the most important person in my
life, but that’s fine.
That doesn’t mean, I’m selfish.
In fact, I’m being selfless,
although that makes me sound like a
real pr*** so don’t put that…
When I was a kid, I kind of assumed that
I would have children when I grew up.
because everybody does and that just seems
to be the natural order of things,
but as I became a little bit older
in my teenage years and into my early
I realised that I could make a choice to not have children
and actually having kids wasn’t something
that really attracted me.
I remember being at school
placement so I trained to be a teacher
and I was a little bit overwhelmed by
the number of children in the school
and I just kind of thought,
actually, I’m very happy to work with children,
but perhaps I don’t really want
my own when I go home at the end of the day.
My friends or other people who I met
which say, “Oh you’ll change your mind”,
or “wait till your biological clock kicks in”.
and I would smile and say. Perhaps.
It started off just being, oh I just don’t want to have children,
and then I became aware that actually
the best thing I can do for
the environment is not to have any children.
Now I would call myself an environmentalist
and I try and live in a way that is
as sustainable as possible.
So that’s things like cycling everywhere,
and I am a vegan, I don’t shower every day
I don’t wash my hair every
day, in fact I only wash my hair about once a month.
Can you tell?
It’s inescapable that having kids in the first place creates a resource consuming person.
That’s not me trying to sound like
no one should have kids,
but it’s kind of a fact.
if I fell pregnant.
I would have an abortion.
I had one particular relationship
where the not having children thing
was the reason that we broke up.
He knew from the beginning that I didn’t want to have children,
but he was he was desperate to have his own.
He kind of assumed that I would change my mind because we were together and we were in love.
He would try and convince me
that I did want to have children with him
and he’d tell me,
“You’d look so sexy pregnant”.
The fact was, I didn’t want to have kids
his or anyone else’s,
and he wanted to have children he would
have to find another woman,
which is what he did
I guess it’s quite lucky that I have never been broody
because it means I don’t feel I’m making a sacrifice.
However, if I were to have that biological clock kicking in,
that everyone tells me is gonna happen,
I would now say no,
even if I did become broody.
Now I would make a conscious decision not to have children because of that reason
I don’t want to contribute to a global population.
People will often project their own lifestyles
onto you or their life choices
or whatever it is, and so I
find I try not to be offended or
annoyed or patronised by people who
say you “Oh you’ll change your mind”
because actually this is a conscious
choice that I have made
and it’s something that I
really, really believe in
and I genuinely do not want to have
children, and that’s OK.